Although I do have numerous nicknames (mostly given by Tammy), you can call me Norman or Mr. Norman if you are feeling particularly formal. Tammy and Ian are my owners. I usually refer to Ian as “The Mean One,” because he is not a pushover like Tammy and attempts to discipline me far more often that I prefer.
I am an evil genius, but I am still a dog, and my life is pretty boring, so don’t look forward to mind-numbing daily updates about how I ate, peed and barked a lot. Here is the run-down of an average day, just in case you are curious …
I wake up at 6:45am on the nose and bark at the people to get their lazy butts out of the bed and play with me. The Mean One doesn’t let me sleep in the bedroom, so I bark through the door. Sometimes Tammy yells at me to “shut it” (which I of course ignore).
The people finally get up around 7:20am, and I bark at Tammy until she opens the door to the yard and releases me into the wild. If she would have got up at 6:45, I wouldn’t bark at her, so it is her own fault!
Anyway, I go potty and sometimes try to escape from the yard, but that really hurts Tammy’s feelings, so I keep it at a minimum. Every time I make with the potty, I get a good boy bone. One time we ran out of good boy bones, and Tammy tried to substitute a pretzel instead, but I wasn’t having it, so I barked at her until she went to the store and got me some bones! Now that’s the kind of thing I would put in my blog!
Eventually I get “put away” in “my room” until Tammy comes home for lunch. She takes me potty, gives me the good boy bone, and then I usually bark at her while she eats. Sometimes she plays with me, but I usually just bark at her. After about an hour she puts me back “away” in “my room” until she comes home from work.
When Tammy gets home from work, she takes me potty, gives me the good boy bone and then we play some toy. I like to play fetch mostly, but we also play goosey butt and tug. Teddy is my favorite toy, because he smells really bad and I can eat his stuffing. (Note that this is bad for Pug bowels.) Sometimes I let Tammy stop playing with me to go to the bathroom or eat or something, but her breaks are short! The Mean One always interrupts our playtime with something he wants to do. I have been put on the porch for not complying with him many times.
I get “put away” for bed at about 10:30pm, but not before another potty break followed up by a good boy bone. I usually eat around this time too.
See, my life is boring, so I won’t tire you with monotonous daily details. If you don’t see any entry from me for a day, just assume that the above is going on …