The People have these friends they call, "The Rubles." These "The Rubles" people came and picked the People up on Saturday to go to some Art Show thing, and I overheard them telling the People that they had talked to their dog trainer about me, and the trainer told them if the People don't get me fixed I will only "get worse." She said that male Pugs are especially bad and continue to get even more bad if you don't have them fixed. I do not like these "The Rubles" people. I have been putting my best paw forward to be a better dog (wink-wink), and Tammy even comments on how I am better than I was a year ago (she is easily brainwashed). Now for these people to come into MY house and encourage the people to snip off MY essence is just uncalled for. They don't know me!

Tammy is now threatening me with "snip snip" when I act up. She thinks she is funny.

On another note, I see someone found my site via the search string "gay pug." Don't be gay Puggy, or we'll send you to Big Gay Al's Gay Animal Farm. Apparently I am a Republican (according to that rude chick who spammed me with her rudeness because I don't like mis-bred pugs), so I cannot condone gay dogs. I prefer no twigs, no berries.

I had me a good laugh this morning. Some silly person up in Washington state found my site via the search string, "how to train a pug". That's just too funny. You don't train your Pug. Your Pug trains you, because your Pug is not really your Pug - you are your Pug's human. It's a circular relationship that will make your head spin if you try to think about it, so don't. Just submit to the majesty that is your Pug.

We went up to Atlanta this weekend, but I did not get to see Rosco. His owner was not home at all. Mr. Chris checked several times, and she is either avoiding Mr. Chris or she just wasn't there. Poor Rosco. He needs my guidance to achieve his full Pug potential. Peeing on Mr. Chris is a start, but he needs to further hone his skills. I am concerned about his development.

I also did not snuff out the Chewb. She was looking too cute. Maybe next time she will have a leper paw or geoduck tail, and she will be easier for me to wax.

Ian had to go out of town last night, so I got to sleep in the bed as Tammy's guard dog! I hope he comes back soon, because I can't take another night in the bed with her. She complains about everything! I like to lick things, so I was licking the blanket (I'm not alllowed on the bed, so this might be my only chance to lick the never-before-licked blanket), and I got yelled at. I like to bark a lot, so I was barking in the middle of the night, and I got yelled at. I like to change sleeping positions often, so I kept moving from one side of the bed to the other, and I got yelled at. Man, I don't know how Ian puts up with her! Maybe I will invite him to sleep with me so he can get a decent night's rest!

Mr. Chris and the Chewb came down this weekend. On Friday night, I got to roam the house free with Chewbie all night, because Chris was sleeping on the couch. Tammy was afraid we might eat the roach traps and made a big deal about needing to put them up out of our reach, but Chris and Ian told her we wouldn't mess with them. The poison is enclosed in a round plastic container, so we would have to chew through the container to get to it. So, Tammy decided she was being a nag and left them out. Later that night, I brought Chewbie a roach trap from the living room and dared her to eat it. She tried, but couldn't get it open. I was hoping to have Mr. Chris all to myself, but I should have known Chewbie would be too stupid to out-smart the roach trap. Anyway, Tammy freaked out in the morning when she saw that we had actually tried to eat the roach poison. I'm a stinker.

On Saturday, the People went to New Orleans, and the Chewb and I were stuck in the kitchen all alone for the whole day on Saturday. It really sucked.

It was, however, an overall good visit. I think we are going to Atlanta this weekend, so I will get to see the Best Friends again! Unfortunately for me, the People usually just lock the Chewb and I in the kitchen all day, so I won't get much Chris time. Oh well, maybe I will get to see Rosco.

Tammy thinks I am in my "jerky high school boy" stage, because I bark at her until she starts yelling, gets a soar throat and then starts to cry. She says that when she was in high school, the jerky boys would make her yell and cry for fun. She has a long-standing grudge against most of the town. I do have fun making her cry, so I guess she is right. She is hoping I grow out of it, but she fears that, like most of the Big J's in Lisbon, I might stay a jerk forever. I don't think I will though, because I fear The Pound...

Tammy told me about a McDonald's billboard she saw that says, "I'm choosy" and advertises new "select meat" Chicken Strips. She finds it humorous that McDonald's considers someone who prefers that their meat is identifiable to be a choosy person. I, on the other hand, will eat anything - even the boot-shaped Chicken McNuggets. You know the ones I'm talking about! If Tammy points her toe at it, I eat it, which causes problems when she is doing the ballet portion of her Pilates, because there is a lot of toe pointing that goes on.

Tammy taught me some programming this weekend. She had to do some work at home. Let's see if I can code my "Tammy pointing her toe while doing Pilates" issue:

while ( (norman & BEING_STUPID) && (tammy & DOING_PILATES) )
/* Eat what Tammy's toe is pointing to */
eat_something_off_the_floor(&norman, tammy->pointing_toe);

Hmmm... I compiled this code and got a warning that (norman & BEING_STUPID) is a constant value. I'm not sure what that means. Tammy didn't teach me how to debug ...

I met a Lady Pug on Friday that I might get to breed with. Her name is Tony. Yes, she is a she - I checked. The problem is that she is CKC registered, and I am AKC registered, so we're not sure if our puppies could be registered or not. Probably not since these kennel club people are pretty snobby and want to keep a Pug down. Tony has a super cool Bulldog cousin named Meatball. Tammy wants a Bulldog. After meeting "Meat," I want a Bulldog too! The People met Tony's owners at PetSmart two weeks ago when they went there to get my food. PetSmart has Play Date Night on Friday from 5-7pm. I haven't been in a while, because Ian does not enjoy watching me sniff other dogs' butts for two hours, and other dogs apparently don't like it either. Tony and Meat get to go every week! They live in Spanish Fort, but their owners drive to Mobile every Friday to bring them to Play Date Night! Those are some broken people. I have to get some pointers from Meat and Tony some time. Anyway, I went to Play Date Night on Friday and got to sniff some butt. It now costs $3 for me to sniff other dogs' butts. What a rip-off! I was only there for about 15 minutes too! Can you believe they still charged the People? Not that I really care. I got what I came for! Anyway, the bottom line is I might get to breed, and PetSmart is running a racket with their Play Date fees.

The People went to Bellingrath Gardens this weekend to take some pictures, and Tammy saw two snakes. She was traumatized for the entire day. Man - she really hates snakes. She deserves it though, because they went to Bellingrath instead of taking me for my weekly walk. We have never seen a snake on our walk. She should stick with the sure thing instead of deviating from the weekend plan. I need consistency! When things become inconsistent, snakes start jumping out of the bushes and attacking and Pugs start getting restless. Then the barking starts, and nobody likes the barking, because it leads to the yelling and eventually the crying, and Tammy ends up with a sore throat. So, just take me on my weekly walk, and no one gets hurt.

Oh yeah, Mr. Mousemms or a descendant of Mr. Mousemms is in the house again! Ian put out a trap to safely catch him so he can be released into the wild, but he isn't going for it. He's too smart for that, or he's too dumb and would rather Ian put out a deadly trap, which he will if Mr. Mousemms doesn't take the safe bait soon. The People don't like wild animals loose in the house ~ present company excluded, I hope.

I love nanner bread!

I got a bath this weekend. It was long overdue. I also went for a walk! I got really hot and had to stick my head in the freezer to cool off. I panted for HOURS. Mr. Chris would not have appreciated my company. He hates panting. Tammy says that when we live in the mountains, I will not have this problem. I hope there are no snakes in the mountains. Tammy is a real sissy around snakes! When we were at the Gammy's last year for Christmas, Tammy found out that their snake had escaped a couple months before. Gammy assured her that the snake was dead, because there was no way it could live in the house with no food and having not been seen for that long. Tammy was so funny - she checked the bed every night to make sure the snake wasn't hiding in the sheets. Tammy was talking to the Gammy the other day, and Gammy said they found the snake living in the basement recently! Tammy almost freaked out. She was living in the house with a loose snake for a week! That's some funny stuff.

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