Tammy has finally given me a nickname that describes me completely and that I like - Butt Muncher. That is my new name. I am going to have my AKC papers changed ASAP.

I get to see Chewbie this weekend! At least I think I do... I hope Tammy didn't tell me we were going to Chewbie's house this weekend to get me to stop panting. That woman is getting on my nerves.

So Trevor and the Whitola (formerly known as Alli's sister) came down to visit us this weekend, and I was shocked that the Whitola's brainwashing from Christmas is still going strong! Typically brainwashing must be constantly re-enforced by the brainwasher so the effects don't wear off, but not so with the Whitola. Not only did she call me Diddle, but she also let me lick her! OK, so she said no licking the legs, but she willingly gave up the feet and the hands! I have a very powerful mind! I can't wait to see her again. Pugness only knows what I'll get away with next time!

I have been panting a lot lately, because it is puggin' hot down here in the butt crack of the South. The panting noise annoys the People, so to get me to stop panting, Tammy says, "Chewbie." This of course focuses all of my attention from the panting and onto the thought of the Chewb. It is a cruel weapon to use against the Pug. Next time Tammy is blah-blahing about something I don't care to hear, like shut it Norman or fetch me some bon-bons, I am going to say something like, "hot fudge sundae" or "Long John Silvers" or something like that. We'll see how she likes it!

Man, Tammy has been grumpier than usual this week. I don't know what's up with the woman, but she needs to get her priorities straight and just rub my butt! There is no room for grumpiness when you're rubbing the Pug's butt!

The People had yet another Art Show this weekend. This time it was in Foley, so they did not have to stay overnight, but they did leave me all by my lonesome all day Saturday and all day Sunday. OK, so Jennifer McClurg came by and let me out to potty, but I need more than that! I am a social animal!! I peed on the floor just to let them know I was "peed" off with their behaviour. Bad People!!

I smelled a Frenchie on Tammy's hands when she came home Saturday night. This does not please me. I will not compete with another dog for her love! I have been her dog for three years, and I should not have to share her. Wait a minute ... now maybe I know how Ian feels. Man, it really sucks to be Ian! Maybe this will bring Ian and me closer together...

A faithful reader sent me an email asking what I think about M r. W i n k l e. First of all let me say that his website is about as whimsical as a Cheeky Monkey on Ridilin wearing a fairy yellow coat and prancing through the streets singing, "It's Raining Men." So needless to say, I like it, because it reminds me of a good friend of mine, Stupid Butt - I mean, Mr. Chris. Anyway, M r. W i n k l e looks like a real pansy to me. What's this Mr. thing all about anyway? Is it like the "Mr." in "Mr. Sam's Styling Salon" or "Mr. Bobby's Hair and Nails?" (note the lisp that you can't convey in text). I hope they don't start breeding this thing with Pugs to try to get a decent looking dog out of its existence like they are doing with Beagles. That would be a real shame.

Happy Cinco de Mayo! That's Happy 5th of May for those of you who are Spanish impaired. Tammy's Pug Calendar says today is "Batalla de Puebla" in Mexico, which according to my Spanish to English translator means "Battle of Populates" and doesn't make a whole lotta sense to me. I did a little bit of research and found that this day is to commemorate the overthrow of the Mexican Imperial Monarchy in 1867. Actually, I think the Mexicans were just jealous of our 4th of July celebration and had to come up with their own since it would be silly for them to celebrate our National holiday. Regardless of the origins, it is on the calendar which makes it a valid holiday, so margaritas and tacos for everypuggy!

The People were in Baton Rouge this weekend doing another art show. The show was rained out on Saturday, but they say Sunday's sales made up for the loss of Saturday. I prefer when they come home ticked off that they made no money, because then I have hope that they will quit the art show scene and I will not have to suffer in the darkroom anymore.

While the People were gone, Miss Shana stayed at the house with me. I love Miss Shana - she is a bigger push over than Tammy, if you can imagine that. One night she invited another girl over (Jenny), and I stood in her face and stared at her the whole time she was at the house, because she was not pre-approved by the People to be in my house! I am the rule enforcer! Except, of course, when the rule applies to me... Not that the People said Jenny couldn't be in the house, but Tammy did not specifically tell me that Jenny could be in the house, so I interpreted the rule how I wanted to, and I wanted to stare, so I did. Whatever - I stare if I want!

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