Mr. Chris sent me a link to a website for dogs. If you are a dog and don't have your own website, or if you are a dog owner who would like to create a quick site, check it out. Here is my page on their site. Email me your page, and we can be Dogstar Pup Pals. That sounds really gay. But seriously, it might be fun.
The Vet told the People that my life expectancy is 17 years! I'm not sure what that means exactly, but I do know it made Tammy happy and Ian not so happy, so it is probably good for me. He's always trying to bring a Pug down!
I'm still fuming over not getting that credit card supposedly guaranteed in my name, especially since I saw this story on the web. What, that Pug is good enough for a credit card, but I am not? Just because I don't know my Mama's maiden name? I know my Daddy only has one eye, but I can't remember my Mama's name - excuse me! I didn't get to know her that well!
I saw in my stats that someone found my site via the search string "puggle dog." So, I went searching for "puggle dog" to determine what this dude was looking for. Apparently, the "Puggle" is a mix between a Pug and a Beagle, and should not be confused with the verb "to puggle" which is what I do to the People a lot. Puggling is a lot like mauling, but without the blood. It usually involves me licking, snorting, nibbling and jumping on the People. There is a lot of spit involved and often times laughing and yelling. Tammy describes it as "something out of a horror movie."
I was writing yesterday about how unfortunate it is for a dog to lose his "essence," and I just want to use a case study to stress how strongly I feel about this issue. There is this dog I met that lost his "essence" when he was just a puppy. Let's call him J-Diddy. Well, J-Diddy has never actually had his "essence," so he has never really lived as a boy dog. J-Diddy has been so confused by his lack of "essence" that when he has been at someone else's house for say more than an hour, he has to go home, because he misses his toys. And the whole time he is at someone else's house, he just sits on his owner's lap and whines instead of playing with the other dogs. Since he is technically a boy dog, he should be playing and challenging me for Alpha Maleship! I know I am quite intimidating and a REALLY strong Alpha Male, and he could never win, but it is his duty as a boy dog to at least try. This dog is sad, and I am saddened by him, because he doesn't know why he is such a weird-o. This might be an extreme case, but it does exemplify what happens to a dog's psyche when he loses his "essence." Don't listen to Bob Barker. He doesn't have a clue what he is talking about. If someone threatened to remove his "essence" (which I've heard the Barker Beauties would like to do to him) I'm sure he wouldn't be such a big neutering advocate!
The People finally took me to the Vet for my heartworm shot and check up. I was like weeks overdue! Anyway, that Doctor is always trying to get Tammy to have me neutered. Tammy is not having it though - thank goodness. What does that guy have against my ... uh ... "essence" anyway? Tammy says that if I get neutered, I just won't be the same Pug. No duh! How can you remove a Pug's "essence" and expect him to walk around with his head high? I have met dogs that that have lost their "essence," and I am quite troubled by them. They aren't boy dogs, but ~WHOAH~ they aren't girl dogs either. So, to all you people thinking about having your dogs neutered - Keep Your Hands Off Our Essence! And to all you Vets that do the neutering, Shame On You!
Here is a link for all you dogs that have lost your "essence." You can finally reclaim your dignity!
Happy Chinese New Year! It is the year of the Monkey, and since I myself am a Snuffle Monkey, this year is especially special to me! According to Chinese custom however, I am a snake, because I was born in 2001. The Chinese don't recognize the Snuffle Monkey on their calendar, so I will humor them for now. Snakes are wise and firm and can often become rich, because they usually keep to a job until it is finished. That must explain my perseverence in the play and evil department. I am rich with evil!
Here is a cool website with lots of Chinese New Year activities and such. Have fun!
I had an exciting night last night! First, Tammy brought me home a peanut butter pig's ear! It is sooo yummy! I got one for Christmas, but I lost it in the mountains of wrapping paper before I could give it a really good chewing. Then, my Gammy showed up out of the blue! She lives far away, so I don't see her much. And, she brought me a present from my Aunt and Uncle (the parents of the girlies). It WAS a yummy treat, but I ate it. Not only did the Gammy come to Mobile, but also Uncle Trevor and Whitola (formerly known as Alli's sister but renamed after I brainwashed her this Christmas). Alas, Miss Alli did not come. I miss her VERY much, but I had fun with the other people too! At least as much fun as I could have without my Alli ...
I was browsing through my stats for the website, and I saw that someone found my site by typing in "chewbie toys." Chewbie, do you have your own line of toys now? And if so, do you make any fetch toys? And if so, why haven't you given me any toys yet? You know how much I LOVE TOYS! I can't even imagine Chewbie having her own line of toys. She much prefers to just chew her rawhide. She is a light weight when it comes to the fetch. I can out fetch her any time!
By the way, if you have your own website and would like a free statistics gathering service, I use (and highly recommend) www.statcounter.com. It's free and quite handy. Oh yeah, I see you hittin' my site up there in Petoskey, Michigan! Don't think I don't know about Ashburn, Virginia surfing some Pug site too! And nevermind all those Canadians hunting them some Pug action!
I'm sorry I haven't updated my blog lately, but the People grounded me from the computer for peeing on the computer bag. It was worth it though! That thing is totally stinky like Pug! There's no gettin that stench out!
My two newest names are Diddle McNugget and Diddle McMuffin. This might not make sense to you, but I have surprisingly been able to make a connection with these names. If you have turned the television on in the past three months you have seen those annoying McDonald's commercials with the phrase "I'm Lovin' It" being chanted over and over. Well, my newest theme song is, "I'm Puggin' It - doo-doo doo doo doooo." If you've heard the song, you know how the "doos" go. So, since my newest theme song is based on a McDonald's song, my newest names should also be based on McDonald's merchandise, right? You really have to understand my strange Tammy person to get this far into understanding her logic. Good luck with that one.
I am afraid Mr. Mousemms or a member of the Mousemms family ate too much of the mouse poision, because it is stinky like dead animal in the Peoples' room. This is ironic to me since Ian is reading Tammy a book called, "The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents" at night before they go to bed. I like to listen to the story too through the door. The People searched the room for the dead mouse, but they didn't find it. They say it is probably in the walls or something. Regardless, it smells really gross. Chewbie would love it. She is into rolling in dead things. She thinks it makes her smell sexy.
I realize that I have been getting soft in the evil department lately, so I have set a New Year's resolution to be more proactive in optimizing my evil. I shouldn't be waiting for a prime evil moment to arise, but I should be creating these evil situations. For example, this morning I peed on Tammy's computer bag. I figured she probably wouldn't notice until she got to work and got pee on her hand. When it comes to whizzing on things, this is the optimal evil way to do it, because she doesn't notice the evil until I am out of beating distance, and my evil propagates into her work environment! Last night the People wanted to look through a catalogue, so I let them. However, when it came time for them to do their Bible study, I barked and panted and grunted a lot. That was evil. When it was time for me to go outside and do my business, I waited until Tammy looked away, then I ran down the street. It was dark out, so she didn't notice for a while, but when she realized I was not in the yard, she freaked out and ran around yelling like a looney. When I came running back up the street wagging my tail and panting a happy pant, she was relieved, and it was evil of me for exploiting her relief to avoid beatings. I hope I am able to keep up this momentum all year!
My New Year has come in with much less than a bang. The People got the new "The Sims" game for Christmas, and they do nothing but stare blankly at that stupid television thing and mutter angry words at it every now and then. I don't see the fun in this activity, but it is obviously more fun than say throwing the squeaker or pulling the tug, because there is no Pug action going on! I hate that television thing! I wish it were lower to the ground so I could PEE ON IT!
On an up note, Mr. Ian and the plumber were surprised when Mr. Mousemms jumped out of the closet at them. There was much girly screaming. I like Mr. Mousemms. I hope he avoids the poison.