There was another "mouse in the house sighting" by the People this weekend. They put a bunch of mouse poison out while we were on the Christmas vacation, and Mr. Mousemms ate it all, but apparently he is a resilient bugger! He was hiding in the closet, and the People saw him while they were folding clothes, and they screamed like little schoolgirls! I was like, "What's wrong with you? It's just Mr. Mousemms - he's been here for months now!" They were running around trying to catch him, but he was too fast for them! They had him trapped under the dresser for a little while, but then he lunged out at them with his fangs all throbbing for blood and his ... OK, that didn't really happen, but he did get away from them. He was running around the living room trying to get into the fireplace, but the fireplace was blocked off. The People unblocked the fireplace and he ran in there and escaped. That is how he gets in and out of the house apparently. I hope he comes back again really soon, because the People were entertaining with their brooms and boxes and other rigged up mouse catching gear! Poor Mr. Mousemms had to sleep outside that night.
This has been a most eventful holiday season, and I have sooo much to blog, but I don't know if I will make it through my entire holiday, as I am very tired and need to nap . . .
First, we went to Mr. Chris and Chewbie's house for a day. He doesn't live in B-u-u-ford anymore, which is unfortunate, because his new town (Smyrna) is not so prone to mockery. It isn't glamorous or anything, but it just doesn't have a mockable ring. I had to pee on everything in his new apartment, because he moved, and he must remember that just because he moved, it doesn't mean I don't own everything in his apartment. Chewbie has a mean Jack Russell terrier as her downstairs neighbor. It hates her. She doesn't know why - it just does.
Then we went to Roswell to visit The Girlies! Lucky for me, Miss Rose was feeling pretty frisky, and I had a grand old time of it! Ginger was not so frisky, and she tried to bite me a lot, and not in a good kind of way. Tammy knitted The Girlies really pretty sweaters with their names embroidered on them and furry collars. They looked quite royal, as they should, because they are The Girlies after all.
Then we went to Asheville where we stayed for a week or so. I'm not sure since I don't have a great perception of time. Since I am a dog, and 1 year is really 7 years, I guess we were actually there for a couple of months. Anyway, the People forgot my crate and my gate, so I had to stay out on the cold porch when they went anywhere, but I also got to sleep in the warm bed with them at night! It was most excellent! I would squeeze between them and snore all night long! Ian was so annoyed! I must add this to my top 10 evil things I have done in my life. The Gammy gave me some ham. It was good.
Speaking of evil things I have done, I have achieved the single most evil thing ever . . . I brainwashed Alli's Sister into calling me Diddle Bear and petting me when I give her the cute whittle man face! I know I don't like the name Diddle Bear, but to have her call me it is quite an accomplishment, because she is quite too cool for dumb dog names.
I got a lot of stuff for Christmas, including a peanut butter pig ear (yummy!), a purple piggy toy, a new tug and some chicken and beef treats. It was a good time! I highly recommend Christmas.
I would just like to take a minute to welcome all you International Web Surfers to my site, and remind you that if you are from one of those countries with questionable eating habits, that this is not stewedpug.com, it is studpug.com. So, don't come here looking for recipes or anything. OK ... I just had to clear that up, because I have seen a lot of hits from other countries that make a dog nervous. Carry on ...
We have another mouse loose in the house! This one is a mutated, giant mouse! . . . So, this weekend Tammy baked 20 dozen cookies. That is a lot of cookies! She is a really messy baker, so I got to eat a lot of raw dough, and I was a powder-sugar covered Pug at one point. Anyway, she made up a cookie tray for the nice people at Templeton Gallery because they have been so supportive of the peoples' art. She put the cookies on a pretty Christmas Tree plate and wrapped the plate in cellophane. The next morning, there were many cookies missing from the tray, including the most preciously coveted macaroons! Tammy was quite angry! We heard a noise coming from under the stove, and Ian kicked the stove, and the most gigantic mouse I have ever seen came running out! He is obviously the cookie culprit, because badness knows I can't get out of my room at night. Anyway, the mouse does not like chocolate. He ate the macaroons and the Danish wedding cookies, but he didn't touch the no-bake cookies, and he only ate the peanut butter part of the Hershey's Kisses cookies. What a crazy to not want the chocolate! If you are offered a Tammy cookie, don't worry about it being germified - the rest of the cookies were sealed up in containers. I mean, wait - yes - you shouldn't eat them ... I will dispose of them for you ...
If you did not watch the season finale of the Average Joe tv show, you didn't miss much. That dumb Melana girl picked the pretty-boy doh-doh bird over the Average Joe, Adam. Even though she found out that the pretty-boy still lives with his parents (at 27, thank you), and Adam is a millionare entrepeneur who does NOT live with his parents. She isn't the brightest glow stick at the rave, so I'm sure they will be happy together bumping and grinding in their ignorance. Season two of the Average Joe is coming out soon. This time the hot lady is a former Miss America, and she doesn't seem as pleasant as Melana. I feel sorry for these guys. I can't really relate to them, because I am a super-mega hotty hunk of a dog, but I still feel for them. Somehow it strikes me odd that the guy who makes millions a year is considered the "Average Joe" compared to an arguably more attractive guy who is still in college, living with his parents and aspires to be a weatherman. People have got their priorities a bit crossed. They should really just focus on serving Pugs - then the world would be a better place.
I totally got declined for my guaranteed credit card. A Pug can't get a break in this human-run world. Apparently they expected me to have a job or something. I need my 20 hours of beauty sleep - I have no time to work! My good looks are the only thing that keep Tammy from letting Ian kick me out of the house! If I didn't have a cute whittle face, where would I be in the world? Hopefully Tammy will lend me the money to take Alli to the groomer! I will pay her back by not tearing up things, or better yet, in kisses! Well, maybe in lack of kisses... For that matter, Ian will probably lend me the money! He is not fond of Pug kisses on him or on Tammy!
The people brought home our Christmas Tree this weekend! I am so excited that it is Christmas again! I love helping everyone open their presents! Tammy was stringing lights on the outside of the house, and I was helping her! My rear-end got really cold from sitting on the sidewalk. It was a good thing I had on my sweater!
Tonight is the grand finale of the Average Joe tv show. I really hope the average Joe guy wins. He is much cooler than the other guy. And, he doesn't live with his mom like the pretty boy weatherman wanna be. What a looser!
I am so excited! I got an email today for a credit card with a limit of up to $100,000! I am going to buy Alli some really cool Christmas presents! And maybe I will even get Alli's sister a little something. The only store I am allowed to go into is the Pet Smart, so I will have to do all my shopping there. Maybe I could get Alli groomed or get her nails trimmed or something. She always has her nails painted so pretty! I sniffed some delightful raw hides there one time that might interest her. I don't know how much they cost, but I bet I could get her at least one with my credit card. She doesn't like holding my raw hide, and she seems grossed out when it touches her, so maybe if I get her a raw hide of her own, she will be happier! This is going to be the greatest Christmas yet! Hooray for credit cards!
So it is getting pretty cold here at night, and Tammy brought out an extra blanket for me to snuggle with. She made me a little nest to keep me warm and cozy. I am so cute in my nest. You may be wondering why the people don't just buy me a nice, warm, comfy doggie bed. The answer, of course, involves me maximizing my evil in all situations. You see, Mr. Chris gave me a nice, warm, comfy doggie bed one time. I had it for just one day before I turned it upside down, ripped all the stuffing out of it and peed on it! That is definitely in my top 10 evil actions of all time! If they bought me another doggie bed, I know I would do the same thing. I'm just that kind of dog.
This past week was a most awesome week! Miss Maggie Winter stayed with us for many days. It was like almost a week! Thursday was some weird people holiday - Thanksgiving or something like that. The people actually gave me and Maggie some real turkey! It was so cool. Maggie had some nasty gas from the turkey. The people were grossed out by it, but I was impressed by her. I thought I was the Master, but I was wrong. Then on Saturday the people took Maggie and I to the Pet Smart to get our picture taken with Santa Claus! It was so cool! I told him that I want a Lady Pug for Christmas. Hopefully he will come through for me. We also played some mad fetch in the yard. Maggie got the ball every time! That woman is just better than me at everything!