I got in A LOT of trouble last night while the People were at this place called "Sam's Club." (Sounds risque if you ask me.) Anyway, I pooped on the rug and peed on the side of the couch. When the People got home, Tammy went crazy on me. She threw me out on the porch, and left me there for almost an hour! It was cold out there! Then, when she finally let me back in, she wouldn't talk to me for the entire night. Seriously, she did not talk to me! Can you believe it? As if that punishment was not bad enough, now I'm told that whenever they leave the house, I have to be locked in my cage! I think I made a huge mistake ...

Speaking of "Sams", Sam the Ugliest dog who I previously blogged about has passed away. Poor ugly little bugger. Now he's in doggy heaven being mocked by all the doggy saints for his ugliness.

It snowed today. Our first snow of the season! Too bad I hate snow. It gets my underbelly all cold and wet and makes my feet shiver. It's time to get out the dinodog sweater I guess. Stupid sweater!

The puggle craze seems to be dying down a bit. Over the past few days, people searching for information on expressing their pug's anal glands or hoping to find the source of that stinky pug odor now dominate my hits list again. Ah, back to the status quo! Sweet, sweet, status quo. I don't understand what it is with people and these puggle creatures anyway ...

I'm thinking of starting a fan page for my website. If you want me to include your picture, send one along.

The Woman is nagging me to warn you that deepdiscountdvd.com's free shipping is kind of slow. In fact, they don't use a traditional mail service for their free shipping offers, but instead, they strap your order to the hump of a camel, and point the camel in the direction of your state. You need to start patrolling the borders of your state about 4 weeks after you receive notification that your shipment has been sent, because the camel doesn't have the fine-tuned sense of direction to actually make it to your house. (He also doesn't have a map.) Keep in mind that you won't know where the camel is entering your state, so you need to keep a broad eye open to all possible entrances into the state. Sometimes the camel dies on the way, and deepdiscountdvd.com sends another back-up camel and a monkey. The monkey transfers your package from the dead camel to the new camel and points the fresh camel in the direction of your state. He also digs a hole and buries the dead camel - the monkey is quite thorough. When he's finished, he hitches a ride back to deepdiscountdvd.com. Good thing monkeys have thumbs! (You may wonder why they don't just send a camel with a monkey jockey to deliver your package. Well, that's just an absurd thought - a monkey riding a camel! Let's keep realistic here.) Once you receive your package, you need to find safe passage for the camel back to deepdiscountdvd.com. If the camel does not return safely, the aforementioned monkey breaks into your house and steals not only the DVDs you recently received, but your entire DVD collection. (This is how deepdiscountdvd.com is able to sell DVDs so cheap and offer free shipping!) If you made this purchase as a gift and own no DVDs, you will still have the broken window repair bill to deal with, so it is worth the extra effort to ensure the camel's safe return. Furthermore, the monkey will use your toilet for his business and not flush the evidence. So, beware when using the free shipping service from deepdiscountdvd.com.

BREAKING NEWS: "Arrested Development" is being cancelled on Fox. PLEASE, if you love this show like The People love this show, send Fox an email and let them know. Do it now! Don't finish reading this, you have work to get done! Also, please sign this petition and maybe this petition to help keep the show on the air. You never know, it might help!

It would also help if you purchased the season 1 and season 2 DVDs to show you are willing to give them money to make more shows. deepdiscountdvd.com will give you 20% off with the code DD11 through November 19th, and they have FREE SHIPPING. Tammy is really distressed about this cancellation, and I'm afraid it will affect my butt rubbings tonight, so PLEASE, do something!

Oh yeah, and it's Puerto Rican Invasion Day! Hide all your chickens, shelter your daughters, and beware the big butts that come knocking late at night!

I use doteasy for my website hosting and email, but I might have to switch hosts if they don't change their sign-in screen. The dude on the front page freaks me out! It's like he's doing his best "Victor Maldonado giving me the sexy creep eye" impression or something. Freaked out!

Thanks to the Brodie-man for informing me that the New York Post and Channel 4 WNBC ran stories about puggles this week, thus leading to the recent influx of puggle hits on my site. WNBC refers to the puggle as, "the new must-have dog." Apparently some lady in New York paid $600 for a puggle! What a sucker. I only cost $350, and I am a stunning specimen of my breed. I bet The People could sell her a lot of black and white photography if she'd pay $600 for a mutt dog. According to the New York Post, James Gandolfini from The Sopranos even owns a puggle, which surprises me, because puggles have a very low evil output rating, despite recent reports of puggle carnage in Japan. I hope this puggle rage is isolated to New York. Everyone expects crazy things to go on there anyway. I hear there's something in the water ... As a side note, my spell checker doesn't even recognize puggle as a legitimate word, so puggles aren't actually real. Some suggestions for puggle are; juggle, piglet, bugle, purge, and juggles.

Lori posted a great blog entry about puggles that all prospective puggle owners should read. She has more valid reasons for not encouraging puggle breeding than me, so check it out.

Friday I received 181 hits from 121 unique visitors - so many that I can't even see the stats on all them, because the People won't let me upgrade my free stat counter. However, I am sure 99% of them are for puggles. If you know what has caused this recent puggle-rage, please email me. I am really curious to know what has re-sparked peoples' interest in the puggle. Was it a news story about a rabid puggle eating its owners alive? Perhaps a mutant puggle is loose in Japan gulping up stray tourists? Please, I need to know why my website is being ravaged in search of the puggle beastie.

I know, I know, you're all dying to hear about my new house. Well, I'm not ready to blog about it yet, because I'm still feeling the place out. Two things are for sure though ... 1 - There are no rats here, and 2 - We do not have people living above us. Those are both good things to the People, and that is who we're obviously trying to please.

Today my website received 92 hits from 61 unique visitors, and yesterday 50 hits from 24 unique visitors. A sudden burst of Normania you think? No, not quite. Somewhere, some stupid person has re-ignited the fanatical fiery flame of the puggle - the most dreaded cross-breed frankendog on earth. I am glad to be the #1 source on MSN, ABC News and CNN for puggle searches though, because I can attempt to dissuade people from encouraging this outrageous act of cross-breeding. Pugs rule! Puggles drool!

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