Tammy has been sick all weekend and had to stay home from work today. I like it when she is sick, because we snuggle on the couch and sleep all day! She keeps me warm. We call it snugglin' with the pugglin'. Apparently I am now a pugglin'. Who knows what that means. She is a little bit crazy after all!
I had to go back to the eyeball doctor again, and I have to go back again tomorrow. The doctor is a smart man. He tells me I am such a good dog and so smart and handsome. He knows his stuff! He doesn't seem so good at fixing eyeballs though, because I have had to see him like a million times in two weeks or something like that. Oh well - the ladies there are mighty fine, and they make the trip worth while even though that man prods me in the eyeball a lot.
I haven't written in my blog lately, because I have been having eyeball issues. I got an ulcer on my eye and had to go to the Doctor. Ian and Tammy have to put this yucky balm stuff on my eyeball three times a day! Then I had to go back to the Doctor. It has all been a real pain in the eyeball! Apparently I have to make yet another visit to the Doctor soon. It's tough being a Pug sometimes. I need some goggles or something. Maybe I'll get some for Christmas.
Last night Ian "dropped" a little piece of chicken on the floor and I got to eat it. It was so yummy! I think he might be getting soft on me. I am irresistible.
We are back from B-u-u-ford, and we had a great time! There was mucho fetcho. Chewbie was feeling much better than the last time I saw her. She only buforded once, and it was because she was excited. Chris still has the ilk though.
I met the coolest dog while we were there. Her name is Abbie, and she is a British Bulldog. She is a big-boned woman, and I love her! I hope Sophie doesn't read this, because she will get jealous. Abbie has the softest fur, and her skin feels like it is floating on a layer of butter. I seriously want a British Bulldog, but Ian said pets don't get to have their own pets. I don't understand this reasoning, because I am not a pet: I am a whittle man. And I already have a frog and a panda, so why can't I have a British Bulldog too? Sometimes he is just unreasonable!
Chewbie still has her leper paw. I think it is because Chris feeds her her own eyes boogers. Gross.
The bad news is that Mr. Chris's company ran out of money and can't pay him for an indefinite amount of time. The good news is that we are going to visit him tonight and cheer him up! I am so excited!! I get to see Chewbie and Mr. Chris! I hurt my eye yesterday, but this is going to make me feel a whole lot better! Mr. Chris has decided that he is going to get out of the Software Engineering business and become a teacher. I think he will make a great teacher! First of all, Mr. Chris lets me do whatever I want to do, which is a great quality in a teacher, because everyone's favorite teacher is the lenient teacher. Secondly, Mr. Chris is really smart and good at teaching things! He has taught me all kinds of things! Sure, Tammy isn't pleased about everything he has taught me, but he did a very good job at it!
Yesterday's bout of evil got me thinking about the good old days when I was an evil dog 24/7. Those were the days! I had to tone it down a little bit, because I think Ian was seriously thinking about getting rid of me, and I had Tammy so frazzled that she might have agreed with him. It was fun while it lasted though! I think the most evil thing I did was chew up the vinyl floor in the kitchen. I started with just a little piece, and the people didn't get too upset, because it wasn't very noticeable, and little by little I kept chewing up just a little more until finally I had completely demolished the kitchen! I chewed on the walls a little bit too, just to finish the job! And let's not forget the carpet next to the kitchen! That was some good stuff! The people were so mad! They had to pay to have it replaced!! They were funny to watch too, because they kept putting things on the floor to try to get me to stop. They put things like hot sauce and even bought some kind of yuck spray, but it only encouraged me to chew it more, because it was even more dericious! The wild days of my youth!
I had a most eventful morning! When I went into the kitchen to get my good boy bone, the mouse that has been terrorizing our house was sitting in front of the refrigerator! Tammy said it was still barely alive, but would die soon from all the mouse poison it has been eating. She scooped it up with the dust pan and took it outside. I was barking at it to let it know not to come back in my house! I felt kind of bad, because it was really cute, but Tammy said it might have diseases and pass them on to us, so I guess it's for the best. Still, I think it would have made a pretty cool fetch toy!
Ian left early for work this morning, and Tammy was at home all by herself. She thought she was going to have a nice quiet morning with her coffee and The Today Show, but I had other plans for her. My evil was burning inside and erupted into a barking frenzy! I barked my head off at her for no reason at all! She tried to subdue me with petting and playing, but to no avail! Ha-ha-ha! It was a good ear-piercing bark too! I don't know why I am so evil, but I can't fight it. I must give myself over to the evil! And with Ian not there, I was unstoppable!
Sometimes I pee on things. The people don't understand why I do it, and I get a spankin' for it, but I have to do it. Let me explain. I live in a great big house full of things that I am not allowed to "mess" with. Some things have been designated as mine, and I am allowed to mess with only these things. However, I am a dog. I don't have that great of a memory, so I need some way to remember that something is mine. I can't write, and even if I could, I can't read so that does me no good. So I whiz on things, OK? And yes, sometimes I intentionally use this handicap to my benefit. For example, I used to not be allowed on the couch. I really wanted on the couch, because that is where the people are, and it is comfy. So, when the people were not looking, I jumped up on the couch and peed on it. Now it is mine - those are the rules. It's like putting a big Property of Norman sticker on something. Sure, the people had it professionally cleaned, but guess what ... I am now allowed on the couch. Coinicidence?